This week I ran 25km, survived the tax office, fixed a document that’s been haunting me for weeks, and somehow kept up a semi-functioning adult routine.
And yet…
By Friday night, I found myself ordering a McSpicy and Coke while deep in a three-hour scroll coma.
I’d held it together all week. Gym. Work. Grief. Pseudo-productivity. Even managed to close Instagram by 7pm most nights. But something cracked on Friday. Maybe it was the quiet. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was just being alone with my thoughts.
So I did what any emotionally overwhelmed, mentally cooked, physically drained millennial does:
I ate McDonald’s and scrolled through 600 reels in silence.
What followed was predictable:
Saturday morning, I woke up with the familiar brain-fog of a dopamine crash.
Then I made it worse by getting coffee from McDonald’s.
And I don’t even drink coffee.
Apparently I woke up and chose chaos.
But here’s what I’ve learned (again):
You can be doing everything right—
healing, moving forward, showing up, creating—
and still feel hollow.
Grief doesn’t care that you’ve joined a gym.
It doesn’t care that you’re productive now, or that you said no to unnecessary dental work.
It leaks in through the quiet moments.
It finds you when the routine ends and your brain finally whispers, “So… how are we really doing?”
The truth? I’m tired. Still grieving. Still figuring it out.
I’ve changed a lot.
I’ve let go of people and habits and expectations.
I’ve tried to fill that empty space with running, writing, working, routines, even clothing upgrades and haircuts.
But sometimes the only thing that lands is a McSpicy and 3 hours of reels.
And honestly? That’s okay.
CTRL: Keep surviving the week
ALT: Accidentally scroll into oblivion
DEL: The guilt about it
Still here. Still trying. Still spiraling—
just fantasizing about buying new shoes.
Maybe the Asics Novablast. Maybe Nike Pegasus.
Or maybe I’ll just stare at the Nike Cortez like they hold the answers.
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